Ask any parent what sports day means to them and you will hear about picnic blankets, camera phones and the sack race that never quite ends. Ask a child, and the answer is often more complicated. Behind the excitement sits a swirl of nerves, hope and the very real fear of coming last in front of everyone. Here are the questions parents ask most often about how children actually experience the day, and how the adults around them can help.
Why is my child so nervous about something meant to be fun?
For a lot of children, sports day is the first time they perform in front of a crowd. That is a big ask. They can see the other parents, they can hear the cheering, and they know the outcome is visible to everyone watching. Nerves are a natural response to that kind of exposure, not a sign that something is wrong.
The helpful thing to remember is that nerves and excitement feel almost identical in the body. A racing heart can be reframed. Instead of "you seem worried", try "your body is getting ready to have a go". Children take their emotional cues from the adults nearby, so a calm, cheerful parent does more than any pep talk.
What if my child isn't very sporty?
Not every child is built for the sprint, and that is completely fine. The best sports days are designed with that in mind. Alongside the competitive races, there are usually team events, novelty games and roles that reward effort over speed. Schools that value the whole child, such as a school that supports children who learn and think differently, often make a point of celebrating participation and personal progress rather than podium finishes.
Talk to your child beforehand about what they enjoy rather than what they are "good at". A child who loves cheering their team on has just as valuable a role as the fastest runner on the field.
How do I handle the tears if they lose?
Gently, and without rushing to fix it. Disappointment is a real emotion and children are allowed to feel it. A quick "never mind, it doesn't matter" can accidentally teach them that their feelings are inconvenient.
Instead, name what happened and stay close. "You really wanted to win that one. That's hard." Once the feeling has been acknowledged, most children move on faster than we expect. What they remember is not the result but whether they felt supported.
Should I be worried if my child wants to opt out?
A child asking to sit out an event is often telling you something worth listening to. It might be nerves, it might be a physical worry, or it might simply be tiredness. Rather than insisting, get curious. A small adjustment, such as running with a friend or trying a less pressured event first, is often all it takes to rebuild their confidence.
Pride, when it comes, tends to arrive quietly. It is the child who was terrified of the egg-and-spoon race and finished it anyway, glancing up to check you saw. Those small victories matter more than any ribbon.
How can parents make the day better for everyone?
Keep the focus on effort, kindness and having a go. Cheer for every child, not only your own. Pack the water, expect some big feelings, and let your child lead the way on how much or how little they want to talk about it afterwards.
Above all, watch their face rather than the finish line. That flash of pride when they realise they did something hard is the whole point of the day. You can read more about how a nurturing approach shapes a child's confidence at https://unicornschool.org.uk.
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*This article was contributed by the team at The Unicorn School, an independent school in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, supporting children aged 6–13 who learn and think differently, including those with dyslexia and related specific learning difficulties. The Unicorn School focuses on building confidence, resilience and a genuine love of learning in every child.*
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